7 Questions To Ask Your Parts || Internal Family Systems

INTRODUCTION

This blog aims to guide you on becoming a self-led practitioner of Internal Family Systems (IFS). By following the process outlined below, you'll gain a better understanding of what is alive for you in each moment. Regular practice will help you identify different parts of your system and understand their feelings and needs.

New to IFS? Start with my complete guide: Self-Led IFS Therapy: The Complete Guide.

Start by making a list of the parts you've noticed in your system. Which parts are active in your life, daily routines, or at this moment? How do they manifest in your behavior? Use the protocol below to document information about each part you identify. It's okay if you can't answer all the questions initially. The practice itself is where the growth happens. Through regular practice, you'll become more adept at recognizing emotions as they arise, enhancing your self-awareness.

Begin with three deep breaths to center yourself and calm your nervous system. Now, you're ready to start the protocol.

THE 7 QUESTIONS

1. Name the Part: Parts often show up as emotions. For example, you might have a "depressed part" or an "excited part."
2. What does the part feel like emotionally?: Choose one part and consider the emotions attached to it. For example, a depressed part may feel sad, lonely, or scared.
3. What does the part look like?: Imagine how this part would look if externalized. Consider its appearance, expressions, location, lighting, and mood. If no visual comes to mind, that's okay. This exercise is about authenticity, not creating something just to complete it.
4. What does the part feel like in your body and where?: Close your eyes to help drop into your body and identify where the emotion is stored somatically.
5. What does it say?: Each part has a message or a lesson to convey. Ask your part what it wants to communicate, including any attached needs.
6. How does it make you behave?: Reflect on the behaviors driven by this part. For example, a depressed part might make you more antisocial, inward-focused, or prone to distraction.
7. What does it want?: Identify what the part is seeking. It might need your attention, want to give you something, or express a desire. For example, a depressed part might want care, solitude, or a hug.

THE TAKEAWAY

After answering these questions, notice how you relate to and feel towards these parts. Has anything shifted as a result of this exercise?

By acknowledging your parts, you communicate that they matter and have been heard, but they don't need to control you. Giving attention to your parts creates space for you to step into a truer version of yourself.

SEE IT IN ACTION

Watch the video below to see Conor McMillen actively using these questions on himself.